<p>各位，周一好，实在不好意思，由于身体抱恙，发晚了~</p><p>秋子想问：可以上一休六吗？我撑不住了！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F17b7314aj00tcpwb20096c000j600j6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>瞅瞅这位老板，那被迫营业的样子，像极了周一的我。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F9ca68833p00tcpwb20046c000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>近日，广东一饭店因老板极力抗拒走红却意外爆火。该饭店墙上张贴“本店喝汤可能拉肚子，此属正常”耿直提示标语。此前老板还极力劝阻探店博主宣传。视频意外走红后，网友纷纷打卡，吃饭排起长队。老板坦言，“太辛苦了，不想干活只想休息”。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Ff12f0487j00tcpwb200avc000ar00iyc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fc57589c5j00tcpwb2007gc000ap00j4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Faad9ff8fj00tcpwb200a9c000a500ijc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>老板反卷斗士啊，看出来是被迫营业了。</p><p>老板：拉肚子反正不是我的问题。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Ffa888563j00tcpwb2007sc000dk00cuc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>便秘的人会专门来喝汤的，谁不想天天都一路畅通呢？</p><p>喝了不拉肚子老板可麻烦了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F42f1112fj00tcpwb3005qc000j600l2c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>有些老板就是这样，做的时候认真做，但都是消磨时间够吃饭就行，来真的就累了，不要发达的一天。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F00bad793j00tcpwb300msc000j600nec.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>当然，很多人做生意还是要以多赚钱为主的。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F30fe826bj00tcpwb3002fc000j600kwc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>毕竟谁会嫌钱多呢？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fd09477d6j00tcpwb3001mc000j600lkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>不过别人的钱财，可不兴觊觎啊。</p><p>对，说的就是你！</p><p>江苏一女子半年未回家，发现邻居居然把阳台封到她的房子里，卧室窗户一打开就是邻居家阳台。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F4cc19e01j00tcpwb300bzc000eh00p1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Ff6f3b5b6j00tcpwb3009lc000em00p4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>都说远亲不如近邻，这硬是被邻居活成了“你家即我家”啊~</p><p>再晚回来半年，到家就剩个大门了。</p><p>一瞅，嚯，邻居都扩建一个三室一厅了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Faa050285j00tcpwb501ofc000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这邻居，怎么敢的？</p><p>一般人生出来的都干不出这事。</p><p>果然有些人就是骨子刻着喜欢占别人便宜。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fe7c9776cj00tcpwb3000zc000i200fyc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>没事，咱把窗户拆了换成门，钥匙咱自己留着，以后洗衣机，水费电费能省不少。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F96c45238j00tcpwb400bic000ge00gfc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>不回老家都不知道在传什么八卦。</p><p>我一个朋友去年回家过年才知道，自己前年被枪毙了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F13ccc291j00tcpwb500mlc000u0013zc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这事估计也在村头树下传开了。</p><p>近日，美国网红Ludwig摩旅骑行中国时偏离国道，误入湖南永州乡下村子，遇见当地村民正办白事酒席，饥肠辘辘的老外误以为这里是饭店，直接问“可以吃吗？”，没想到主人家会用英语流利跟他们对话，还热情邀请老外去家里吃饭。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F854ca2a4j00tcpwb400ajc000ae00i5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>死者家属：人刚死这西天就派人来了？</p><p>村民：隔壁老王家厉害啊，还有外国亲戚回来吊唁！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F740c9133j00tcpwb601stc000xs00p6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>想象了很多种去西天的方式，没想到是两个白无常骑摩托来接的。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F81afbab4j00tcpwb5005xc000at00i6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>都说习俗是白事不请自来，但这也太不请自来了。</p><p>人家搁这儿办葬礼呢，他搁这儿“这家餐厅生意火爆”，我真绷不住了……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fc12d4d2fj00tcpwb5006hc000g400jrc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>看来老外喜欢中式亡灵主题音乐餐厅。</p><p>给拿个孝帽子戴上，才更接地气。</p><p>毕竟白事还得白人来，洋相也得洋人出。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F900dec05j00tcpwb50079c000av00cic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这洋人的小偷也不一般啊。</p><p>欧洲食品巨头雀巢周六披露，上周欧洲发生一起货运盗窃案，一辆运输12吨KitKat巧克力的卡车被盗，整车货物失踪。
公司表示，这辆载有413,793根新系列巧克力棒的卡车原本从意大利中部出发，计划向欧洲各地配送。目前，车辆及其货物仍下落不明。
KitKat表示：“虽然我们认可这些犯罪分子的品味确实非同一般，但货物盗窃仍然是一个正在不断升级、影响各类规模企业的严重问题。”</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F1fe6b427j00tcpwb500cyc000am00isc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>《虽然我们认可这些犯罪分子的品味确实非同一般》</p><p>对不起，但是有点幽默。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F25472f54j00tcpwb700pqc000j600z4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F92addd0cj00tcpwb6003tc000j600i9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>生气之余还不忘肯定一下小偷的品味。</p><p>雀巢：有品位的死小偷！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F598ca4efj00tcpwb700mkc000j600joc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>偷界里出了个大馋猪。</p><p>也是，谁不想急头白脸地偷一堆巧克力回家一边打胰岛素一边狂炫呢（不是）</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fe760b5faj00tcpwb700ihc000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>盲猜是袁世凯干的，因为他是零食大总统。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fa78bb56ej00tcpwb7008qc000i200bac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>能出个电影吗？不想只看黄金大劫案、运钞大劫案这种了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F10a3e41fj00tcpwb700dhc000j600hfc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>还是来点家长里短吧。</p><p>3月20日（报道），河南周口。女子晒闺蜜年前才娶了儿媳妇，结果过完年发现自己怀孕了。据悉，儿子和儿媳出去度蜜月了，还没敢跟他俩说。网友：儿媳也没想到还能伺候婆婆坐月子 。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fb9e472aej00tcpwb700cvc000ai00ipc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>儿子结婚一个月，婆婆怀孕了？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F2800c8e9j00tcpwb800eec000r600k9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这婆婆最精了，知道两儿子不好说媳妇，等到儿子结完婚再生。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fa41d25adj00tcpwb900zlc000r200tlc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>挺好，孙子和儿子一块带，毕竟带一个也是带，带俩也是带。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fba32d915j00tcpwb900ktc000u000qqc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>有的人42都要当奶奶了，有的人还在玛卡巴卡。</p><p>近日，山东。女子钻车库卷帘门，没想到卷帘门正好升起来，把她卡在了半空。 安全提示：进出车库请走人行通道，避免意外发生。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F39d505dbj00tcpwb800d9c000eg00pqc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>车里司机估计笑得不行了。</p><p>司机：我到底出还是不出啊？！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F4a6e0e5bj00tcpwb8006vc000ix00irc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>看她动作已经熟练了，一动不动在上面等。</p><p>这就是传说中的卡门吧？</p><p>该说不说，这门质量挺好~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Ff6ee111aj00tcpwb900bmc000pe00ltc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这车也不错嘛，很喜庆。</p><p>2026年3月28日，安徽淮北 ，95后“掏粪男孩” 潘浩男大婚，打造9辆吸粪车婚车队迎亲，收获全网祝福。潘浩男毕业于四川电影电视学院，毕业后子承父业做 “掏粪工”，他公开自豪：“干最脏的活，挣最干净的钱”。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fc2acfbd8j00tcpwb900ecc000ap00h7c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>擒屎皇结婚呀！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F5e9ae7fej00tcpwb900g9c000dw00ghc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>挺有味道的，希望小两口生活也甜甜蜜蜜，有滋有味，奋（粪）勇向前。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Ff6277ee8j00tcpwbb00xfc000u0018cc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>现在掏粪也不是谁都能去的，能拿到这个活的，都不是一般人。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fd368e3a5j00tcpwbc016ac000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>不是一般的猴儿也出现了。</p><p>近日，四川乐山。有博主拍下峨眉山小猴穿游客衣服，酷似拜师时的孙悟空。网友表示：猴哥“转世”在峨眉山了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F2270222ej00tcpwba0077c000a100huc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>它居然知道伸袖子？</p><p>小朋友们，来，我们学一个成语——沐猴而冠</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F7e6e7cd7j00tcpwbb00hfc000u000u0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我就想知道它手里的衣服是从谁身上扒下来的……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fff84ddf2j00tcpwba00cjc000c000kkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>看来再过不久大师就要兄横空出世了，快请如来佛祖！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F5ccf8d77j00tcpwba003zc000j600zjc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>客人：先给我来一壶酒。</p><p>孙悟空：一壶酒。</p><p>客人：再给我来一碗牛肉和一碗面。</p><p>孙悟空：一碗牛肉一碗面。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F94a6f03fj00tcpwbc00y3c000s2011fc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>由此可见，六小龄童演猴演得多出神入化了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F965e1925j00tcpwbc00l7c000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>好了，今天的一刻就到这，我们下期再见~</p><p>以上~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fadbb2d1bp00tcpwbb005bc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>狗狗现实不错</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F1533c774j00tcpwbd00rbc000j600ugc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F78e0a558j00tcpwbc00ixc000j600j6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>兄弟，我歇逼了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F89c25616j00tcpwbc00gic000j600dsc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Febef92cbj00tcpwbe00yhc000j600wrc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>失去考公资格的猫猫</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F4fce7613j00tcpwbd009lc000j600j4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>快点说</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Faf9652e5j00tcpwbd0068c000j600kgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>都市未解之谜</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F49dffb33j00tcpwbe00ukc000j600pgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>真的是洗牙吗？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F7be192e9j00tcpwbd002rc000go0111c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>格里菲斯！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F4bd84d37j00tcpwbf00oyc000j600vxc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>ai能执行你的要求，但无法理解你到底想干什么</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F142b828dj00tcpwbf00arc000j600z3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>还有售后？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F9bb79761j00tcpwbe00loc000j600e3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F15791bcfj00tcpwbf00gec001lb009kc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>1、坐公交车，上来个老爷爷，我刚想着让座突然有个花臂大哥站起来就把座位让给老爷爷了。</p><p>我心想纹身的也不一定都是坏人啊。</p><p>老爷爷笑着说:谢谢你啊年轻人。</p><p>纹身大哥非常豪爽的说：你XX就这点X事你还跟我客气你X个鸡毛啊。</p><p>2、跟一女的朋友逛街。大热天的，女的说：不如找个地方洗个澡吧，心里想着：也好！于是开了个钟点房，过一会，女的洗完澡了， 跟着到我了… 我从浴室出来看见那女的躺在床上， 我说：睡啥睡，快把鞋子穿好，走了！马上要到时间了，再不走就扣钱了，快快快快……</p><p>3、今天早上上班带了个芒果吃，上公交车后就一直再玩手机，便顺手把芒果塞屁兜里了。当我坐下的时候，一声轻轻的闷响，一大摊黄色的芒果肉就从屁股下面挤了出来，然后….然后一车人都下去了，我勒个去，叔叔阿姨们咋都不听我解释啊！为了解释清楚，我抓了一把放嘴里，结果下去那一车人全吐了。</p><p>4、老婆是个女汉子，有一天下班风风火火回到家进门就大喊：“老公我回来了，今天公交车上遇到小偷，从我身边一过我就发现我手机没了，哈哈！于是我下了公交我追他两站啊，逮住之后一顿打，但他死活不承认翻遍他全身都没找到我的诺基亚，小偷哭着求我说，大姐要不然这些手机你随便挑一个吧于是我就拿了个苹果6回来。”我惊愕的说道：“老婆，你今天没带手机啊，这诺基亚不在茶几上吗 ……</p><p>5、一只蜗牛正在路上走，突然被一只乌龟踩了过去。蜗牛被送到医院急救，警察来问它当时的情况。蜗牛摇摇头说：“我不知道，一切都太快了。”</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F9bb29eb0j00tcpwbf00ilc001lb009kc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>1、大家别忘了，4月1号是愚人节，学校肯定会让你们去上课，公司也会让你去上班，千万不要相信，互相告知，谨防受骗！</p><p>2、你要记住你是来体验这个世界的，主线任务是找到合适的栖息地，想办法搞到稳定的食物来源，每天摄入个2000大卡，其余都是支线，比如繁衍和工作，你不做也有人会做，不要有压力！</p><p>3、我：为什么在中国，受打工人追捧的是咖啡而不是茶？</p><p>同事：上班的时候你端一杯咖啡，领导会觉得你很努力。要是泡一壶茶，领导会觉得给你安排的工作少了。</p><p>4、对愚人节已经没有任何感觉，毕竟这么多年老天捉弄我早就不挑日子了。</p><p>5、好好珍惜你身边买基金股票的朋友，最近这种行情，还可以和你有说有笑，说明她情绪真的很稳定，值得深交！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fa921de6fp00tcpwbf004ec000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>看图猜成语</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F2d878604j00tcpwbf001uc000k000kcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>【上期问】</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Fd6755f97j00tcpwbg00a3c000e600gcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F24f7fcf4j00tcpwbg0032c000ku00zcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2Facd1d1eep00tcpwbg004zc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>没毛病</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0330%2F2caa93acj00tcpwbg003ec000ku00tzc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p>
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