<p>各位秋裤，周三好！</p><p></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fe54f3703j00tcggrd00lvc000uc00u0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>每次快到月底查账单的时候都会想，人是怎么能做到这么穷还这么敢这么花的。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F14f89d8ej00tcggrb000xc000j600ghc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这代人是会把钱花在刀刃上的。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F32d0761dj00tcggrb000tc000j600itc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F0c40c4a7j00tcggrb001kc000j600k1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>大家到底都是怎么攒下来钱的呢？</p><p>这里有答案！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F9ca68833p00tcggrc0046c000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>2025年3月24日，四川成都一位父亲在社交媒体上分享了自己的戒烟经历，引发广泛关注。该男子烟龄较长，近年来因咽喉炎反复发作，每次抽烟都如同"在伤口上撒盐"，身体频频发出警报，促使他下定决心戒烟。</p><p>为了成功戒除烟瘾，该男子想出了一个独特的方法：每次烟瘾发作时，他就打开支付软件，给女儿转账15元钱。这15元相当于他原来一天的烟钱，通过这种方式，他既满足了"花钱"的心理需求，又将原本用于买烟的钱存了下来。</p><p>该男子表示，刚开始的几个月特别困难，烟瘾发作时浑身不自在，手痒、嘴痒、心里痒。但每当想抽烟时，他就告诉自己：如果今天能忍住，就相当于给女儿存了15元。通过这种"以毒攻毒"的方式，他成功坚持了下来。</p><p>近日他查看女儿的账户余额，惊讶地发现两年零一个月下来，已经累积了11844元。他在视频中感慨："没想到这辈子第一桶金是戒烟戒出来的。"他以此鼓励其他烟民：现在挣钱不容易，一包烟便宜点的十来块，贵一点的二三十，一天一包烟一年算下来至少要三五千，多则上万，钱花了肺黑了嗓子也坏了，自己能戒烟相信大家也能做到。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F0d058fa7j00tcggrb0043c0007g00d0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>男子：没想到这辈子第一桶金是戒烟戒出来的。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F5549412bj00tcggre01bic000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这笔钱买烟只剩烟屁股，给女儿就是万元户。</p><p>女儿：爸爸再多抽...啊不，再多戒几年！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fa4d689b8j00tcggre01jfc000u0012sc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这比我上班攒钱还快……</p><p>我爸要有这觉悟，我现在就是富二代了。</p><p>建议写入戒烟教科书！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Ffe6ba6c7j00tcggrd00acc000j600n6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>烟民：完了，下个航母又少两个螺丝……世界这么乱，我们又得多贡献点了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F8cdea3dcj00tcggrd009qc000bh00gcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>在文化输出方面，这位阿姨做出了贡献。</p><p>2025年3月24日，一段拍摄于法国巴黎塞纳河游船上的视频在中文社交媒体平台热传。视频中，一位来自中国的阿姨在游览过程中，带领同船的多名外国游客齐声高喊三遍"I love China"，场面气势十足，全员捧场。</p><p>据视频画面显示，当时游船正在塞纳河上行驶，船上有多名外国游客。这位中国阿姨站在船头位置，用英语向周围外国游客发出邀请，随后带领大家齐声高喊。外国游客们配合度很高，跟着阿姨一起喊了三遍，气氛热烈。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F29ce1e1ej00tcggrd00iwc000di00knc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>外国游客："我是谁？我在哪？我为什么要喊这个？"</p><p>阿姨：“我不管，今天必须给我爱中国，今天不喊够三遍谁都别想下船！”</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fdcaab78aj00tcggre00csc000u000u0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>阿姨的英语可能就只会这一句，但用在了刀刃上。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F3747c262j00tcggre00i7c000u000qrc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这波文化输出我给到夯！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F5622dcc0j00tcggrg01y0c000u00126c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>建议阿姨去联合国演讲。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fcb9a6b4aj00tcggrf00rtc000j600u4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这只狗狗的演讲，大家好像都听懂了。</p><p>近日，辽宁辽阳一只名叫"板凳"的狗狗在当地社交媒体上意外走红。据狗主人介绍，这只狗狗大约在8年前曾到当地一家宠物医院接受过治疗，可能是打针或进行其他医疗操作，这次经历给"板凳"留下了深刻的心理阴影。从那以后，这只狗狗每天都会雷打不动地来到同一家宠物医院门口"打卡"，对着医院方向狂吠不止，表达强烈的不满情绪。</p><p>狗主人表示，"板凳"并非去卖萌撒娇，而是实打实地在表达愤怒。这一坚持就是整整8年，无论刮风下雨，从未间断。当地居民和医院工作人员对这只"复仇系"小狗早已习以为常，它的执着甚至成为了当地的一个小"网红"现象。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F481d4beaj00tcggrf005pc0007700cvc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>八年的医闹……</p><p>八年抗战都胜利了，这狗还没放下……</p><p>它是天蝎座的狗吧，记仇记这么久？</p><p>狗：“我这一生，只为复仇而活！"</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F0a171674j00tcggrf00d3c000go00goc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>有这毅力，考清华北大没问题的~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F67ff9e6bj00tcggrh00kqc000u001hcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>话说是打针还是嘎蛋？这仇得有个说法吧？</p><p>医生：我当年到底对它做了什么……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2026/0325/ca0ccffcg00tcggrf024yc0008c008cc.gif" /></p><p>建议医生给狗道个歉，这事就算了。</p><p>实在不行让狗子起诉去吧。</p><p>或者再拖进去打两针就老实了！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F1683accaj00tcggrg0084c000ar00cdc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>不知道这哥们撞几下老实没，反正在场的人看见都老实了。</p><p>2025年3月24日，河南开封某停车场内发生一起令人匪夷所思的事件。一名男子与一辆黑色汽车发生口角冲突后，情绪失控，多次用头部用力撞击车辆，行为吓坏在场路人，其中包括一名小孩。</p><p>视频拍摄者表示，事发突然，大家都不敢上前劝阻，只能报警处理。3月24日，记者联系当地警方，警方表示已介入调查此事，但具体案情细节不便透露。目前尚不清楚男子与车主之间因何发生冲突，以及男子在撞击车辆后是否受伤。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fa895d474j00tcggrg003yc0007d00c0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F9e4ed8adj00tcggrg0047c0007e00c7c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>见过过激打人的，第一次见拿头打车的。</p><p>车：“我招谁惹谁了？"</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F0711a408j00tcggrg003kc000d400a4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这是练过铁头功吧？</p><p>记得街霸里出现过此等招数。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fc8fb20b7j00tcggrh00g2c000j600wkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>头铁还是车软？这是一个问题……</p><p>撞完记得去医院挂个号——脑科</p><p>毕竟我喝两瓶白的都干不来这事……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F7f9bf737j00tcggri00r5c000u0013qc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这种激情澎湃的事，不适合我。</p><p>2025年3月，正值春日踏青旺季，安徽黄山风景区内一对夫妻登山时，男子男友力爆棚，在陡峭湿滑的山路上将妻子稳稳扛在肩头攀登，妻子坐在肩上笑容灿烂，画面既惊险又温馨。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F813b87f4j00tcggri00rfc000g500ouc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>大哥太有实力了，这得多大臂力和腰力啊！</p><p>老公：为了发朋友圈，拼了！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F83341ea8j00tcggrj0181c000j601c0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>男人的腰，夺命的刀，这腰可以啊。</p><p>老婆：这辈子没这么风光过~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fa705fd72j00tcggrh001uc000jw011wc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>游客：我太难了，爬个黄山还要被撒狗粮！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fdf6733d0j00tcggri00krc000j600pnc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>他要是扛我估计走不了三步，只能退退退！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Ff6f95ab8j00tcggri001cc000go00p6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>人胖都是有原因的，这不就找着了！</p><p>3月23日（发布），浙江宁波，一名20岁女生因长期开灯睡觉，导致体重飙升至200斤并伴随空腹血糖超标和高血压。医生称：夜间光线穿透眼睑，刺激视网膜，抑制褪黑素分泌。褪黑素不仅调节睡眠，还参与血糖、脂肪代谢，其分泌受阻会导致胰岛素“工作效率”下降，胰腺被迫分泌更多胰岛素以维持血糖稳定，而高水平胰岛素会促进脂肪的合成与储存。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F0adccb7bj00tcggri004pc0007000c1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>开个灯威力这么大？晚上吃香喝辣是一点不提啊。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fb9c3a6b2j00tcggrj00azc000bk00fcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>真的又香又辣</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Ffe41881cj00tcggrk00qyc000j600z3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F8e8c980bj00tcggrk00olc000j600z8c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fabae5389j00tcggrk013sc000j600zic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F44fc18a3j00tcggrk012xc000j600zfc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fbd9ab538j00tcggrl00qhc000j600z6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>灯：你肥关我什么事！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F784c2d1fj00tcggrl00luc000u000wcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我每天呼吸也胖了50斤，唉，今后恐怕是不能呼吸了……</p><p>那如果想增肥，可以开灯睡觉吗？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F7cf1a311j00tcggrm00xac000rp010mc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>那养猪厂晚上是不是开灯就可以不用喂饲料了？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fe8450446j00tcggrl0016c00051005lc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>好了，今天的一刻就到这，我们下期再见~</p><p>以上~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fadbb2d1bp00tcggrm005bc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>你还不如一条鱼</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F1b9bc137j00tcggrl002yc000v400oqc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>退十万步的时候就已经在法律范围之外了</p><p>夺少？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F3ed07cf7j00tcggrl002tc000j600w5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>感觉我们公司还挺文明的</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F77a1e0abj00tcggrm0019c000j600i4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>至少它们都很纯洁</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fe450ebd5j00tcggrn00nic000j600wbc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>宿舍不让养猫，舍友就这样</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Fda5a10dfj00tcggrm0014c000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>《当你只有一瓶水要怎么分给领导喝》</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F33fd5976j00tcggrm001sc000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>终于穿书了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F737a8e81j00tcggrn00qjc000j600poc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我不行了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F1cd9d152j00tcggrn00bkc000j600l0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>真的</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F4fad943ej00tcggrn00djc000j600grc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>贴脸</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2Faf764990j00tcggro0117c000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>干嘛啊</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F799aa0e1j00tcggro00ksc000j600mmc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>？？？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F16e4da3fj00tcggro00x1c000j600tac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F15791bcfj00tcggro00gec001lb009kc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>1、刚看到个评论，说老中独善其身到了什么程度呢——既不参与世界大战，也不参与世界杯。</p><p>2、我：“老公啊，如果有人花1000万买我，你卖不卖？”</p><p>我老公：“当然不卖！”</p><p>我高兴极了，猛地亲了老公一口，问：“为什么呀？”</p><p>我老公看了我一眼，一脸嫌弃地说：“你又不值1000万，这种昧良心的钱我不赚！”</p><p>3、我问我妈：“妈，你觉得我长得怎么样？”我妈头都没抬：“你小时候，邻居都说这孩子真好看。”我：“现在呢？”我妈：“现在邻居都搬走了。”</p><p>4、小时候以为“早睡早起身体好”是一句口号。长大后才明白，这是一种——奢望。而且早起身体好不好我不知道，但早起的我，脾气一定不好。</p><p>5、某次和几个朋友一起打羽毛球，其中有个漂亮MM和我打双打，气氛非常愉快，带着些暧昧。</p><p>打完球散伙的时候MM说：“把你手机给我吧。”</p><p>我目瞪口呆地说：“俺就这一个手机，还要用呢。”</p><p>然后，就没有然后了……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0325%2F580e60a0p00tcggro004oc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="">人还好吗？</p><p class="">
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