<p>各位秋裤，又要放假了！</p><p>告诉你个冷知识：如果你能坚持每天上班上厕所20分钟，一年你将多出两周假期。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fc238ba74j00tcx3f0002lc000j600u9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>可惜，我做不到……领导不允许！</p><p>当我把压力说给单位的花听</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Ffd3fe47fj00tcx3f1002sc000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F88af0342j00tcx3f0002gc000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>也是很无奈了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fad279505j00tcx3f100jkc000j600jnc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>到底谁会喜欢自己的工作？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F9ca68833p00tcx3f10046c000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>近日，江苏宿迁一景区面向全国招聘项羽NPC，身高要求185cm以上，日薪按身高×10计算，最低1850元。招聘方表示，将挑选5人入选，评选出“最佳项羽奖”1名，额外奖励5000元奖金</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F1ea2d00dj00tcx3f0006dc0007200cic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>何润东：点我名直接点！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Ff7490cb9j00tcx3f1002uc0009e00d1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>推荐姚明，日薪将达到恐怖的2260元。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fb4209647j00tcx3f1005gc0007x00ekc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>什么时候土行孙火了，我就能演上了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F89e87ee9j00tcx3f1003sc000b0008oc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这种有市场么……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F4f2726a8j00tcx3f200wkc000j600tcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>？？？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fe17168a8j00tcx3f2009oc000j600tac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这个专业真的很吃香啊。</p><p>近日，河南洛阳，一高校开设殡葬专业，课程包括遗体收殓、遗体防腐整容等，现代殡葬技术、陵园服务管理全覆盖。学生们课堂学殡葬文化，实训练遗体着装、代客祭扫，还有学生亲身躺台脱敏练胆。起初家人不理解，该专业学生却直言行业纯粹，不需要太多社交，踏实做事就行。眼下全国殡葬人才紧缺，越来越多00后、05后年轻人入局，学生还没毕业，不少单位就来“抢人”。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fa649a4e7j00tcx3f2004zc0007800cgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我要是能回到学生时代，我也要选殡葬专业，因为跟活人打交道太累了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fae6feb67j00tcx3f300k4c000p000p0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>话说这个专业对八字要求会不会特别高？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fbaa9ba4ej00tcx3f2006pc000gj00a6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>殡葬行业虽然阴气重，但现在属于朝阳行业。</p><p>如果殡葬专业+考上一个道士证=直接加强</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F4f3c64dej00tcx3f300f4c000vj00u0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>倒也不必太强……</p><p>近日，上海货车司机邱先生驾驶空车途经 G15北青公路收费站时，被系统判定超重拦下。收费员态度强硬，邱先生表示，她根本不给解释机会，说“我不管你空车、不空车，我只看电脑记录”。邱先生不服，拒绝倒车。下车打开车厢自证空无一物，收费员绕到车后查看拍照后才承认误判。随后站长出面协调，在邱先生要求下，收费员才道歉，但未说明设备误判原因，还不断催促他驶离。涉事收费站回应，后续将由专人负责处理该事件</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fa1ccb221j00tcx3f300apc000dg00icc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>新词语又出来了——空车超载</p><p>原来一车空气那么重，压的电脑都窒息了，整的收费员都懵逼了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F41ebf5e7j00tcx3f400ojc000u000u5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>其实不是空气超载，是你拉的空气不合格，pm2.5超标。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Ff0299252j00tcx3f400z1c000tg00vcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>在自己的能力范围内最大程度为难别人。</p><p>估计是这次没得逞，之前不知道坑了多少有货的车。</p><p>陷阱</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F9c9eaa62j00tcx3f4014jc000j600pec.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>在其位还是得干点正事。</p><p>4月1日（发布时间），广东东莞。网友在路口等红绿灯时，前车打开后备箱炫耀自己钓到的大鱼，还打着横幅：“我钓的，大不大”。不料骑警刚好路过，友情提醒：行车途中开后备箱不可取，小心驾驶，安全第一。网友：交警关后备箱撤回了钓鱼佬的炫耀！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F70757610j00tcx3f400ojc000kx00qjc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F3779e66cj00tcx3f400h9c000hx00f0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>车主：你看我的鱼大不大？</p><p>交警：你看到我你怕不怕？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F093df599j00tcx3f40049c0008b00aec.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>鱼大不大不知道，反正你事大了。</p><p>交警：老远就看到你了！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2Fde259a5aj00tcx3f50095c000a000dcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>交警帮车主撤回了一条大鱼。</p><p>幸好交警好及时出现，要不然大家都知道了。</p><p>车主： 罚款我认！ 但是视频一定要给我全国推广！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0403%2F6a696770j00tcx3f5008nc000cc00a0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这两位也是出圈了。</p><p>4月1日（发布），河北。新人结婚致辞环节整活，拿出长长的一串“发言稿”，“我简单讲两句”逗笑全场宾客，网友：你俩是来讲相声的吧。</p><p>
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