今日随机新闻 (轻松一刻：喜报，这几天不用上班！.txt)
<p>各位秋裤，节后上班还习惯吗？</p><p></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2Ff7f1083cj00tb2ezc002yc0008c007xc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>秋子给大家播报一个喜讯：</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2Fcb382d81j00tb2ezd00nkc000j600edc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>过个年，人都圆了一圈，坐在办公桌前都感觉不适了。</p><p>我听说，过个年，老家的狗都吃不动了……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F7be3e0e7j00tb2ezc004bc000j600x0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>不知道是不是我眼花了，看见吃的都感觉变异了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F9ca68833p00tb2ezd0046c000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>近日，安徽合肥。尹先生春节回家过年，却把一碗给小狗吃剩下的牛肉饭忘在了办公室。节后，尹先生一推开办公室的门就闻到一股刺鼻的霉味，那碗被遗忘了半个月的牛肉饭早已面目全非。碗口之上，密密麻麻坚起了黑色菌丝，像头发一样，高度足有15厘米左右，宛如一碗微型的“黑色丛林”！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F421eafd3j00tb2ezd00psc000go00q8c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>牛肉饭都长头发了 ，我的头顶却寸草不生……</p><p>秃头打工人实名羡慕哭了！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F21a97eacj00tb2eze013yc000pg00xcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>愿我们打工人的发量，能像这碗饭一样，野蛮生长！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F07119f80j00tb2ezf01mlc000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>小狗：早知道我就多吃两口了，现在这碗饭我也不敢认了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2Fbe0f5499j00tb2eze00k0c000u000tmc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F35f7e3e8j00tb2eze00jbc000ty00u9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2Fc14262f5j00tb2ezf00jhc000u000rec.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F8bedf761j00tb2ezf00kgc000o800tlc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F01ded456j00tb2ezh0137c000u001ofc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>如此茂密都能扎个小辫了，我的建议是先梳一下，再打点护发素。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2Fa74140edj00tb2ezf0042c000a1007qc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>医学生用培养皿专职培养的菌丝都没这个强！</p><p>赶紧卖给研究生博士生吧，他们绝对跪求。</p><p>二手网站橘子发霉能卖400，不知道这个能卖多少。</p><p>三二一，上链接！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0226%2F9a2bcf16j00tb2ezh00zmc000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>有时候我都不知道别人是在吃饭，还是在试毒。</p><p>2月24日，辽宁大连。男子回家过年，母亲翻出13年前他结婚时存下的海蜇皮，拌成凉菜给孙子吃，男子笑称自己儿子都12岁了，海蜇皮比儿子都大，放了13年了海蜇皮还能吃？面对儿子的质疑，老母亲边切海蜇皮边称“海蜇皮不怕放”，笑称还不一定是13年，也有可能14年。12岁孙子品尝后说：“还挺脆！”提醒：海蜇皮长期存放易变质，谨慎食用为宜。</p><p>
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