<p></p><p>各位秋裤，你的人生多彩吗？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F00e33ccej00td4ffb00a8c000ir009fc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我的多踩人生：踩点起床、踩点上班、踩点下班、踩点睡觉。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F1ecf96e5j00td4ffb001rc000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>上班就会被吸干经历，哪怕你是机器人。</p><p></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Faa4c8c18j00td4f8q0028c000u000ztc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>但如果有瓜吃，那我还是会打起精神的！</p><p>各位朋友们，清明假期劲爆消息！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F9ca68833p00td4f8q0046c000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>4月5日清明期间，一位云南老哥去上坟，本想来一句“祖先保佑我发财”，结果到地儿一看，当场破防——自家祖宗的“阴宅”大门口（也就是墓碑上），被贴了张催缴通知单！</p><p>知上写有如果6个月内未缴纳管理费，将根据《管理规定》第二十条执行，该通知出处为位于昆明的金宝山艺术园林，通知单上无公章。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Ff0e36fcaj00td4f8q0077c0007d00d3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fd82b5cc9j00td4f8q004xc0007700d6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F5c2379c8j00td4f8q005ac0007b00cxc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>2026年新词出现了——坟欠费了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Ff49b18f8j00td4f8q00buc000fg00b5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>活着交物业费，死了交墓穴管理费。</p><p>原来以为“入土为安”是终点站，没想到是换了赛道继续当“墓奴”。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F4ff11554j00td4f8r00bpc000fv0095c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>6个月不交管理费，就要根据规定“执行”。</p><p>执行啥？难道是把骨灰盒请出去，腾出坑位？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fd6e1ee57j00td4f8q002lc000830080c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>听说过车贷、房贷...没想到人死了都还有墓贷，我才发现我居然死都死不起。</p><p>所以海葬才是永久VIP？</p><p>大海：来呀，辽阔无边，还不收管理费，就是有点咸~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F95430c19j00td4f8r00pzc000kg00kac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>就算买得起墓地，还有接下来的烦心事呢。</p><p>上海奉贤公安分局五四派出所接到辖区公墓反映，有人将祭扫者放在墓碑前的鲜花拿走。民警通过警用无人机侦查，于3月19日17时许记录下两名嫌疑人翻墙进入墓园盗窃鲜花的过程，并追踪至附近棚户屋，成功抓获姜某、李某两人，当场查获鲜花200余束。经查，两人将盗取的鲜花打包、重新装袋，准备在墓园附近贩卖。目前，两人已被警方依法行政处罚。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fcfbbac0fj00td4f8r00l6c000do00mgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>别人上坟，这俩上货。</p><p>做个正常人太惨了，活着被黄牛抢票，死了被黄牛抢花。合着我一辈子都逃不开“二手”是吧？二手包、二手房价，现在连坟头的花都是二手的！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F71021e15j00td4f8t01p1c000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>逝者的花都不放过，不怕墓主人半夜找你要花吗？</p><p>不行让老祖宗晚上找他们聊聊吧。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F740c9133j00td4f8s01stc000xs00p6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>真“陵园购”……</p><p>活人的钱不好挣，挣死人的钱。</p><p>也算是个人才了，可惜脑子用错地方了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F9ab6b608j00td4f8r007fc000bc008rc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>就业这一块，大家都有各自的想法。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F2a645de0j00td4f8r0033c000j600abc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F57b33e99j00td4f8s002qc000j60095c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>搞抽象方面，大家也是一个赛一个的灵。</p><p>曹操墓前摆满布洛芬的场景你见到过吗？近期，年轻人在扫墓时玩出了新花样。只因历史记载曹操生前患有偏头痛，他位于河南安阳的墓前，如今摆满了各类布洛芬，还附有贴心“医嘱”。网友笑称：“吃了布洛芬，记得不能喝酒啊。”4月5日，曹操高陵遗址博物馆景区工作人员告诉极目新闻记者，景区清明期间游客众多，每天都有人前来送礼品，工作人员不会随意清理，只会把礼物码放整齐。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F76b49c39j00td4f8s0075c0007700dcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F34a31c4ej00td4f8s006dc0007e00d3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>搁这开布洛芬博览会呢？</p><p>曹操：头疼了一辈子，死后两千年，竟然成了“布洛芬野生代言人”。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F330f8b87j00td4f8u00y0c000u000u5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>曹操怎么可能会想到两千年后的人这么贴心呢？</p><p>记得布洛芬一定要在丞相墓前吃一半再给一半，丞相疑心病重 ，给一颗不吃的。</p><p>也记得写清楚：布洛芬不能和酒一起吃！丞相生前‘对酒当歌’，要是就着药喝下去，人生几何不知道，胃出血是跑不掉了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F80369553j00td4f8t005tc000bn00b2c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>都是口罩时期屯剩下的吧，丞相，吃的时候一定要看看保质期哟~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fbd2c2131j00td4f8t0093c000ew00hsc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>记得不能带自己媳妇去，因为曹操喜欢……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F607dcb71j00td4f8u00fvc000hy00pcc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>有些东西再喜欢，也是别人的，莫伸手啊！</p><p>近日，北京，33岁男子约见20岁女网友，价值40万的金表在女子试戴时被其调包。女子还提前购买了300元的赝品，送给男子1000元礼物。最终，该女子因盗窃被刑拘。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fe97ff608j00td4f8u0065c0007g00cxc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这姐们儿是半点弯路不走啊！现在杀猪盘都嫌慢了，直接跳过培养感情环节，进入现场实操阶段。傍大哥的程序都不走了，直接开偷——这就叫降本增效。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F83510221j00td4f8u00hdc000eq00jxc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>有什么好说的，这两个人把贪财好色表现的淋漓尽致。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F0dce7ba6j00td4f8u004xc000u001emc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>但姜还是老的辣，20岁你那小心思人家早看透了。可能大哥早就防着呢，那表可能全程都在他视线里，妹子一动手就被抓了个现行。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F75954332j00td4f8u007gc000ed00o2c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这个故事告诉我们：奔现有风险，炫富需谨慎。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F1afec105j00td4f8v009nc000im00ddc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>当时有个暴富的机会放在眼前……</p><p>4月1日（发布），广东深圳。五年级小学生在上学路上捡到50克金条，小孩哥说本不信是一块真金条，用牙咬后才发现是真金条。小孩哥在打车前往派出所上交金条时，出租车司机听说了他的事情后，直接免单。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F85bbc7fej00td4f8v00g0c000dl00kfc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>小孩哥未来一个月的日记不发愁了！</p><p>《记一件有意义的事》</p><p>今天捡了50克金条，上交了。警察叔叔夸我，出租车叔叔给我免单，老师要给我发奖状。唯一的缺点是——我的牙有点疼，那金条太硬了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Ff6a2683bj00td4f8v003mc000cc00c8c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>老祖宗的坟头紧急撤回一缕青烟……</p><p>老祖宗：给你机会你不中用啊！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F75b73dc6j00td4f8w00gzc000sg00fzc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>人都有自己的选择，为孩子拾金不昧的精神打call！</p><p>你俩，也打call！</p><p>近日，高中老师分享四年前上课的惊险一幕，左右两侧同学眼疾手快第一时间上前扶住黑板。老师：上午刚换的位置，下午就发挥作用了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F40bcbe5aj00td4f8v006ic000bg008tc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>学生：你猜我为什么叫左右护法？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F7b00b2aej00td4f8v006gc000b10084c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这才是左右护法的真正含义。</p><p>其他人都下意识后躲，捂耳朵，唯有左右护法顶了上去。</p><p>老师应该庆幸这两位护法这节课没“闭关”。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Ff8cfc372j00td4f8w0074c0009200axc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>充分说明了，在遇到突然变故时，武将的重要性远大于文丞。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F98ffe24aj00td4f8x00k3c000u000qwc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>最后，我们将镜头转向大漂亮国。</p><p>科技媒体 Space 今天（4月2日）发布博文，报道称美国宇航局载人绕月任务“阿耳忒弥斯2号”发射数小时后，猎户座飞船的太空马桶出现风扇卡滞故障，尿液收集功能一度失效。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F36d95dc9j00td4f8w004rc0007400czc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>美国人是跟厕所杠上了吗？航母也堵飞船也堵。</p><p>所以现在的情况是：几名精英宇航员，穿着价值百万美元的宇航服，坐在最先进的飞船里，准备去月球——结果他们最怕的不是太阳风暴，不是轨道偏差，而是谁先憋不住。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F064eaa70j00td4f8w00bjc000nb00m8c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>屎尿漂浮在空中，这画面太美不敢看……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F2623a425j00td4f8x00a5c000gc00eqc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>科技再发达，也敌不过屎尿屁。</p><p>干脆直接快进到印度化，哪里都是厕所，就没有这么多麻烦事了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F66997918j00td4f8x00gqc000ku00bhc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>好了，今天的一刻就到这，我们下期再见~</p><p>看到这只猫猫，4月份的难关都会被你轻松一跃而过！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fc3e6c4d8j00td4f8y00yac000j600y3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fadbb2d1bp00td4f8x005bc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我喜欢这样的自己</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F2fb4a9f8j00td4f8x00bkc000go00f4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>电脑：好好想想你现在的处境</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F3af9ca09j00td4f8y00j6c000j600lrc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>生活小窍门</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F9f053bf5j00td4f8y00g6c000go00j5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>路过被鸡蛋亲了一口</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fd6c0d572j00td4f8y000pc000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>猫咪：恩，好！我踏进去想</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F2bedf454j00td4f8y0059c000j600oic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这钱我是不会A的</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fedebf27aj00td4f8z00e2c000j600d1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>原来软柿子在人群里这么明显</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F449824e4j00td4f8y003rc000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>闻鸡起舞</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Ff5c30ee5j00td4f8z00jpc000j600edc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>涉案金额巨大</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F70f7fb80j00td4f8z00jpc000j600xgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>？？？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fe4c86668j00td4f8z00ifc000j600i1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>好想像罗伯特这样活一次</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F5fdd58d9j00td4f8z006ac000j600dac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>都是同龄人我原本没想降维打击</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F20447620j00td4f9000cac000j600vgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>中文还是太全面了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F76ccc774j00td4f8z000zc000j600ssc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>？？？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2Fccaa19f3j00td4f90016bc000hs00wqc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F6ed47383j00td4f91015ac000ht00wdc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F17101e54j00td4f910178c000ht00wnc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>是谁…</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F068058d8j00td4f9000eec000j600h9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F15791bcfj00td4f9100gec001lb009kc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>1、要钱 钱没有</p><p>要身材 身材没有</p><p>要长相 长相没有</p><p>主打一个“一无所有”为什会胖</p><p>因为太多心事 压在心里 不好瘦</p><p>2、很多女孩子追求独立，这是好事，但是！如果你家随意可以让你啃老的那就大大方方地啃，没啥可羞耻的，说明你有退路说明有人给你托底，这是多大的好事！</p><p>3、坐公交回家，前面位置的老奶奶接电话。</p><p>a 喂 我在车上呢</p><p>b 昨天晚上打你电话怎么没接</p><p>a 前两天晚上玩手机手机被孩子收了</p><p>4、问：假如你身边突然多出来一百个誓死效忠你的人，你会让他们干嘛？</p><p>答：既然是暂死效忠，那我当然是命令他们考取清华北大，出来经商，创办世界500强企业，然后给我一个活少按时发工资的岗位。</p><p>5、当代大学生生存现状</p><p>水果摄入量主要靠果茶</p><p>蔬菜摄入量主要靠麻辣烫</p><p>火锅 麻辣香锅</p><p>蛋白质摄入量主要靠奶茶</p><p>运动量靠下课拿快递</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0407%2F580e60a0p00td4f90004oc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>人老心不老</p><p>
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