今日随机新闻 (轻松一刻：情绪来了，喝了六瓶白的两瓶红的.txt)
<p>各位秋裤，周三到了，周六还会远吗？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fc77c169dj00tbqeha00tzc000u000u0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>朋友在群里都不怎么说话了。</p><p>不知道她们又在赚什么钱，怎么突然不说话了，我好害怕，好怕她们又赚到钱了。</p><p>看到她们赚钱，真是比自己亏钱还难受！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F0c383ddcj00tbqeh90077c000bd00d9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F9ca68833p00tbqeh90046c000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>一名12岁女孩用多年积攒的零花钱和压岁钱盘下一家学校门口的文具店，创业初衷是她觉得把钱放银行不划算，其母亲透露，这笔资金来自孩子长期储蓄习惯。店铺由女孩主导经营，上学后聘请母亲代管，每月支付3000元工资，自己放学后接班。母亲形容此举“相当于给孩子开了个商学院。”</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F8f4f9a92j00tbqeh900v5c000gp00ofc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>盘头发都不会的年龄都会盘文具店了？我只会盘腿而坐……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F21ab1da2j00tbqeh900h5c000j600elc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>而且我还没人家小学生有钱……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fc23e742aj00tbqeh900frc000hr00tmc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>小小年纪就成了老板，上学拉客户，放学看店铺。</p><p>同学家长回家后：子涵，你看看别人家孩子都给父母开工资。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Ff46b8c6bj00tbqeha00omc000u00140c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>可千万别被我妈看到，我已经三十大几了，不想被骂了。</p><p>我妈对我要求实在是太高了……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Ff9019c34j00tbqeha00jec000j600hyc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>小孩子应该更知道小孩子喜欢什么吧，市场前沿get！</p><p>就像我高中同学挨个宿舍兜售的泡面，简直太火了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Feff1c5eaj00tbqehb00dqc000et00k0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>不过想问下，哪个学校门口的文具店4万块能盘下？也太划算了！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Ff3d1c39cj00tbqeha0040c000aw00awc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>有人盘小卖部，有人在家开“快递驿站”。</p><p>近日，江苏，网友发布一则视频引发热议，该网友表示，妈妈自2016年起不断网购，买下的快递没拆，在自家租的仓库中堆放，打下“快递江山”。网友表示这些快递中没有生鲜，打算和爸爸一起挨个拆封，即将进入“拆迁模式”。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F466d0387j00tbqehb0086c0008400e2c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>现实版妈妈驿站！</p><p>退休金有了自己该去的地方。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fae8bad3ej00tbqehd019zc000u001alc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这个妈妈绝对是干大事的人，居然能忍住不拆快递，我都恨不得把驿站的都帮着拆了。</p><p>可以让我去帮拆吗，我一样都不要，就是喜欢开盲盒的感觉~</p><p>这拆出来的好评返现也是一大笔钱啊~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F67053ee5j00tbqehc00gzc000qx00m8c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>也有可能是种心理疾病，只是表现不同，有人靠拼命吃，有人靠拼命买，有人拼命省。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F3b86cae1j00tbqehc00ksc000j600wfc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这症状，感觉像抑郁了啊。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F7615a040j00tbqehc00fvc000go00uxc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>感觉我也有囤积癖……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fd451b2fcj00tbqehc00bqc000fo00m3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>如果有机会，我想多囤积点人民币。</p><p>3月10日（报道），四川广安。龙先生老家位于四川广安肖溪镇，他在广安做生意，“妈妈想回老家，我车子没开出来，所以直接开飞机送她回老家”。龙先生称飞机是2024年底买的，飞回去整个费用花了近4000元，时间花了十几分钟，开车的话要一个半小时左右。他平时喜欢户外运动，买飞机纯属个人爱好。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F44a0c625j00tbqehc00e6c000ei00jfc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>700万开个库里南没几个会稀罕，开飞机回村确实惹人注目。</p><p>这下老母亲在村里可骄傲了！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Ff38a1734j00tbqehf018zc000u001o0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>那句话怎么说来着？</p><p>富贵不还乡，如同锦衣夜行。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F0f2dab6cj00tbqehd00b9c000c500fpc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>真是个独特的小众爱好。</p><p>实话实说，咱不是买不起，只是单纯喜欢堵车而已。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F6ce998a0j00tbqehe016ic000u001ewc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>互联网上都是有钱的“龙国人”。</p><p>现实中怕是第二天就有人上门借钱了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F2d830bfcj00tbqehd00aac000dp00h6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>别人秀飞机，咱们古人秀无人机。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F9aeaa5a9j00tbqehe00h5c000j600p6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>科技这玩意，必须得使用得当。</p><p>人脸验证时千万记得穿衣服！中科院博士张军平提醒洗澡的时候别做人脸识别，你以为只拍了张脸其实上半身全拍进去了，很多人不知道人脸识别上传的不仅仅是人脸框里的画面，而是摄像头视野内的全部区域，那个圆形小点只是个“掩码”，不是遮罩。所以下次刷脸前先看看自己穿没穿好，别等上传了才后悔。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F5185330dj00tbqehe00fjc000fy00nuc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>那我蹲坑的时候……</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Ff91a6e5fj00tbqehe00l6c000bx00l6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>还不如一直不告诉我……</p><p>或者应该等我死了在梦里告诉我。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F5d6c52c8j00tbqehg00ouc000j600l4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>所以人脸识别后台人员，天天看到各种劲爆辣眼睛画面了？</p><p>所以这个消息是后台人工实在看不下去了，才放出来的消息让我们收敛点吗？</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fba56abdej00tbqehg00jkc000j600eec.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>那就别叫人脸认证啊，叫人身认证。</p><p>不标明不提示，让人误以为只显示了面部区域而毫不设防，这本身就不合理。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fdf08d0d4j00tbqehg00clc000ej00i8c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这个世界，每个人的副作用都不同，之所以还活着全凭自己的运气。</p><p>近日，河南50岁的张大姐在睡梦中粉碎性骨折，肩膀骨头碎成七八块，丈夫称妻子全程都在床上躺着。
河南省人民医院创伤骨科主任刘涛称：“第一反应不敢相信，高空坠落、车祸撞击才会有这么大的力。”随后刘涛和神经内科会诊进行检查，发现患者癫痫发作后上肢猛烈抽搐挥舞，造成这种情况，但像张大姐这样癫痫导致粉碎性骨折临床及文献中都极罕见。
诊疗小组精心制定方案，将劈裂的肱骨骨头、后脱位等四大部分、七八块碎裂的骨头都按原貌实现完整复位，并将受损的肌腱完全修复，将塌陷的部分填充了支撑骨。目前，张大姐正在进一步接受癫痫相关管理与规范治疗。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fe72ed00fj00tbqehg004qc0007p00dkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fa9600e8fj00tbqehg005oc0007t00dic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>梦里骨折就真的骨折了，真不可思议。</p><p>自从有了互联网，我的格局和想象力渐渐打开了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F2724c3b3j00tbqehh00t6c000j600z7c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F159afc4fj00tbqehi00wic000j6010rc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>原来自断经脉是真的……</p><p>还好原因找到了，不然老公跳进黄河洗不清了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Ffd88c653j00tbqehh00apc000ck00htc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F2dff5ecdj00tbqehh009vc000ci00kyc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F48368b74j00tbqehh009pc000cg00luc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F224e09c2j00tbqehh009tc000ce00j4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F6816c856j00tbqehi0095c000c500hxc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fe186dccfj00tbqehi00cfc000cd00jac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>想问还有必要治疗吗，再做一个梦，再骨折一回。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Ff8f2061ej00tbqehj00ijc000j600moc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>非常羡慕这俩小伙子的体格！</p><p>据新民周刊报道：出发时，本杰明25岁，洛伊克24岁。到达时，他们长大了两岁，走坏了7双鞋，行李轻了3公斤。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F8c7e8aa5j00tbqehi0093c000cr00ijc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fe1d47e31j00tbqehj00h6c000cz00jic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>欧洲的酒吧是有点东西的，喝个酒喝出这么大事。</p><p>所以喝了酒的男人什么都能干出来。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F1aef220cj00tbqehk00tmc000tz013zc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>查一下够不够八十一难，够的话赐给他们真经。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F49c91adej00tbqehk00ogc000j600pkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>小狗也是在渡自己的劫了。</p><p>3月8日（发布时间），广东。贪吃小狗失足掉进狗粮桶，它不求救反而继续狂吃。当狗狗主人把它捞出后，其他狗狗蜂拥而上，现场秒变“大型自助餐现场”。狗狗：狗狗我啊虽然落桶了但嘴没停过！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fec0bd668j00tbqehk00pgc000gd00puc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>强者从不抱怨环境！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F0bccb10bj00tbqehj007ac000dl009dc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这种狗最精了，又吃饭又洗澡的。</p><p>懒得舔毛，就把饭弄到身上，让别的狗帮忙舔。</p><p>其他狗：兄弟你好香啊！</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F21893971j00tbqehk00ehc000dq00j1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>身上有米在，舔狗自然来。</p><p>其实它不是想吃，它是通过让米不断减少来在自救，不然就淹死了。</p><p>不好意思，突然想起这位大妈了。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fb9578a15j00tbqehl0109c000u000s0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我要是有仇人我就这么给他点饭。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fadc57e4ej00tbqehk00b1c000hs00i5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>最后辟个谣。</p><p>这是一则被官方证实的虚假信息。该视频已被当地民政部门辟谣，确认为网红为了博取流量而编造的“长寿神话”。</p><p>2026年3月9日，一名自称来自湖南永州的网民发布视频，称“爷爷129岁，奶奶129岁，相知相恋100年，六世同堂”。</p><p>3月10日，湖南永州江华瑶族自治县民政局明确回应，境内不存在129岁高龄的老人，当地最长寿者仅一百零几岁。永州市民政局也证实，未听说有如此高龄的老人。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fefb0e7f3j00tbqehl004wc0008100axc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>现在的人为了火什么事都能干得出来。</p><p>本来129岁就不可能，还双双129岁，真敢想敢干。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fb76af8e1j00tbqehm00juc000t900t9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>爷爷奶奶加一起129岁才对吧？</p><p>好了，今天的一刻就到这，我们下期再见~</p><p>以上~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fadbb2d1bp00tbqehl005bc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>反方向的钟~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F0ca138d4j00tbqehm003pc000s20162c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>大智慧</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F8f90e09bj00tbqehm00bmc000ha00m5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>还真是</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F035b43d0j00tbqehm008xc000g000vvc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>量真大</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F6d5a4c04j00tbqehm00bzc000bt00erc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>我应该在车底，这太刺激了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F93d78291j00tbqehm0021c000j600qjc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>舍友睡了VS舍友醒了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F9fe7eeccj00tbqehm001rc000j600onc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F75afa744j00tbqehm001sc000j600orc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>雷霆发言</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F33cb92f1j00tbqehm001rc001a600u0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>真要它去除左边的衣物它又不肯了</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Faf9d6b8cj00tbqehn00evc000g000zkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>一直这么勇敢吗</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F9e5ce0a2j00tbqehn001hc000j400dwc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>好腿</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F111a1329j00tbqehn009hc000zj01bec.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>美女~</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2Fd3627effj00tbqehn003kc000sg00sgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>这角度绝了，这张照片应该拿奖。</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F8aa7c5fej00tbqehn002vc000j600src.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F15791bcfj00tbqeho00gec001lb009kc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p>1、好久没联系的兄弟突然发消息：“最近咋样？”我回：“还行，就是有点忙。”他说：“我也忙，不说了，那边有个矿泉水瓶，我得去捡，回聊。”我当场急了：“你在哪条街？别捞过界了！”这真是抢生意比啥都急。</p><p>2、昨晚闺蜜陪我去相亲，对方是留小胡子的帅哥，第一印象很不错。回家后闺蜜拉着我认真说：“姐，这个不行，他有胡子。”我纳闷：有胡子不是挺帅吗？她幽幽来一句：“有胡子扎得大腿好疼。”我现在越琢磨越觉得不对劲，信息量太大了。</p><p>3、今天和男朋友看电影，前排两个妹子从开场就抱着爆米花狂吃，吃完又嗑瓜子，吵得我心烦。我忍了半天，转头淡定跟男朋友说：“把鞋脱了吧。”男朋友秒懂，当场就给我安排得明明白白。</p><p>4、有人问：和领导下棋赢了，领导脸色不好看，说“老了，不中用了”，高情商该怎么回？有个大神回答：您可别这么说，您就算再年轻几岁，照样下不过我啊。</p><p>5、老师在课堂上鼓励大家：“你们长大以后，都要努力做社会精英。”有同学举手好奇问：“老师，什么是精英啊？”老师笑着解释：“就是把所有人聚在一起，层层过滤、筛选，最后留下来的人。”这时一个同学突然开口：“老师，那过滤完剩下的，不就是人渣吗？”</p><p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2026%2F0311%2F580e60a0p00tbqehn004oc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" /></p><p class="">？？？？</p><p class="">
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